And so on, until I shoved her down the aisle and ran to the bathroom. My friend Bryan and I hopped in the pool and did what guys do in hot tubs, stayed 6 feet apart and struck up a conversation. I was headed to my final party of the day. One ounce = 60 raisins. report. I dont give a fuck about politics. On todays Barstool Rundown - Barstool Idol Edition, Caroline, John, and Dani discuss Goodell acting like he doesnt know Dave was banned, Brady tweeting to Cheah, the NBA Draft, Devin Booker and Kendall Jenner breaking up, 31 Reasons to not masturbate, and recapping Barstool Idol. Im not here to rank the apps; Im just here to talk about some of the trends Ive noticed, specifically in regard to the photo lineups that girls choose for their profiles. 3 Grad Parties in 3 hours, Whats the Worst That Could Happen by Marcy. The spokesperson for raisins is the Sun-Maid Raisins Lady. How about I snort a few lines then take a bath with my toaster? But it wasn't just Luke And John Rich may have been a Dave troll at one point? Weve all done it at least once. I popped up too quickly from my resting position and immediately fainted. Yes, there were singing raisins as well. At the bottom of each blog you can rate it on a 1-10 scale. As I conclude my confession, I invite you, the reader, to number how many times this has happened to you. She's hotter than Jackie. I had been homeschooled my entire life and my social anxiety was through the roof. Cookie Notice Tune-in to the NASCAR Cup Series from Nashville Superspeedway this Sunday, June 26th at 5:00 pm EST on NBC For up to $200 off all mattresses and 2 free pillows, go to https://barstool.link/HelixRundownCheck out Barstool Sports for more: http://www.barstoolsports.com\r\rFollow Barstool Sports here:\rFacebook: https://facebook.com/barstoolsports\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/barstoolsports\rInstagram: http://instagram.com/barstoolsports Of course, I took a massive shit in their newly renovated bathroom. In a thin flimsy box that provides little to no protection from the outside world. Advertising InquiriesTerms of UsePrivacy PolicyContent PolicyMessaging Terms, AppAdvertising InquiriesTerms of UsePrivacy PolicyContent PolicyCookie PolicyBest Sports Betting SiteMessaging TermsSubscription Terms. I dont want you to be a single mom anymore. I open the garage door that is the entrance to the house and closed the door behind me. But anytime Ive gotten pulled over since then and given the cop my license, I get very nervous. We all know that the photos are the biggest deciding factor on whether we swipe left or right. I almost wish I was born in the 50s just so I didnt have access to this unlimited supply of orgasm inducing flicks. His name was Cliff and he was a short man with giant black hair. Every pair of eyes in Disneyland were superglued to my face. I didnt know you were taking a picture! The categories Ive watched are despicable but thats meant for another blog. You want me to run lines with you? Give me a break! By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. What? Whats the most insane things you ever choked your chicken to? A small pond had formed underneath me Not a puddle. Scan this QR code to download the app now. I used to eat raisins as a snack a lot as a child. Each birthday it grew a new face. To this day, I still dont know how I said absolutely nothing, and will forever wonder if their 3 year old thought he got a literal pile of shit for his birthday, because it even had the added gift tissue on it. I just did what he said while repeating some combination of the first syllables of innocent and understand over and over. The loud thud of my head hitting concrete caused a scene, very rarely are both Jay and Bob silent, but this time they were. J.O means jerkoff you jerkoffs. I laughed it off and walked across campus to the freshman dorms with the other girls. On today's Barstool. I thought I was semi off the hook and felt like Macgyver for thinking of something so innovative, yet so small and simple, literally. Instead, I was told the reason I was being arrested was because my license was suspended for an unpaid car inspection ticket from years earlier. MTV? Because the moment I stepped off that thing, it was game over. But thanks to my brain damage I have a new lease on life. She has increased a full 5 hotness points over the last century. I received the same brain injury running backs get when diving head first into the endzone during the Superbowl. Some may say the horniest Ive ever been. They go down fairly easily. To make myself feel better, I told myself he never wouldve seen me at his party anyways. It was the busiest day of the year for graduation parties. And then it just went away. Susan: Sir, that is against the code, I am not allowed to say you can use the restroom while were taking off, so please wait. DRINKERS broadcasting about their drinking. Im a guy who doesnt take no for an answer, I do what I want. Its embarrassing, it sticks with you, and to you for that matter, it's an experience every man, woman and child wants to avoid in their lifetime. Youre a single mom out here in the game we call life and youre getting it. a scrunchie. Jun 24 Replying to @danijackel_ @stoolpresidente and 2 others You should have won 1 Have you ever watched porno just for the fun of it? Privacy Policy. One of today's assignments for the nine remaining Barstool Idol contestants was to write a blog. Now this story wouldnt be embarrassing if the edible hit me quite literally anywhere, except for the Matterhorn roller coaster at Disneyland. I was a kid with a dream who walked off the elevator and was full of my usual confidence. Our Coloagero and Jane door test moment. They were showing reruns of the Ingraham Angle. I was smitten. At first, I was convinced that truly nothing embarrassing had ever happened to me, until I was gracefully presented with the memory of a specific day in my senior year of High School, circa 2016. 244. I then proceeded to make my way to the bathroom, throw up, pass out, and then sit stationary on a chair for the remaining 6 hours of our grad trip. It probably sounds like a wild overreaction but this whole process was wildly dehumanizing. An intern whos name I did not learn asked me about Craisins. Arent you just a hot mess! I guess you find these things at weddings and other places where basic bitches hang out? I improvised, and used gift tissue from the present I was going to gift my dear friend, Justin. The 5'1" ring leader was so short, her nose was pretty close to my discolored pee shorts. When I walked back into the building, I saw that my small pond had been walked through and spread all over the floor, soaking the feet of my professors and fellow students. This is where a girl posts a photo of herself next to one or more of her uglier friends. In case these pictures cannot be used, imagine the Sun Maid Raisin Lady as a 4, then about 100 years later shes a 9. This onescreamsI suffer from a total lack of self-awareness. Look, I get that aspiring actors/models have to get headshots done. Until the blue lights appeared in my rear view mirror. As the girls laughed, I realized I was soaking wet. I realized in that moment, I had made my mark. I dont even remember the details - the night was a blur, even blurrier than the hot tub I left as I waddled inside. Must be 21+. If youre wearing winter jackets in all your pictures, Ill be left to make my own assumptions. They had a friend named Lick Broccoli. Which of the California Raisins have been charged with sex crimes? To be precise, they were all back to back parties. Im talking full green-out mode. I would say I decided to use the bathroom, but it was more my intestines that made that decision for me. As I contemplated ending my life, I realized I had left the keys to my dorm at the other building. The ring leader, a menacing 5'1 18 year-old with the power of unlimited funding from her parents (they were over compensating for prioritizing their careers over their children), asked does anyone have a hair tie? My heart stopped. YouTube, Instagram. save. Did the California Raisins ever get into non-sexual shenanigans? I hop on the plane, and right as were taking off, and you know, the fasten seatbelt signs are on, flight attendants tell you to sit still or die, the monster struck once again. Ive been on a dont try and self-deprecate myself kick for a while but Barstool Idol asking me to write a blog about the most embarrassing moment of my life calls for me to rake myself over the coals. 2023 Barstool Sports. It wasnt too out of the ordinary, and trust me Ive since grown out of it. It truthfully was the most embarrassing moment in my life. My jaw dropped. Dani from Barstool Idol. I handed her the scrunchie. I was able to fire back oh Im here to meet Dave. Nothing! Barstool Idol . Justin was my blind friend who I helped walk around campus my sophomore year of high school. Dani Jackel on Instagram: "When there's no need to make a b-day wish b/c your dreams have already come true :)" . Gambling Problem? Only to find someone had ordered me a medical Uber, thats what I call an ambulance, which I refused to get into like most drunk people do. Each contestant has written a blog which I am merely formatting, not editing or changing in any other way. and our I reached to flush the toilet, and the toilet didnt flush. My spunk was getting out of me before I even thought about it.This event happened in 2021, politics reached an all time low and people fuckin hate each other for it. The old one, two punch, as Adrien Broner would call it. They just thought I was a Breaking Bad fan cosplaying as Walter Whites son. Susan: Sir, the fasten seatbelts signs are on, please wait until weve reached 30,000 feet. Really? It was not a motivational tool and would be thrown in the garbage in mere months. I used all my best tactics - kissing ass, (metaphorically and literally), gossiping, and compulsively lying. unfortunately, I DID make a big splash. It was my first day, and I wanted to make a big splash. share. I had no idea about the ticket or my license because I had moved a few years earlier and stupidly never given the DMV my new address. There used to be a large book delivered to your home that was filled with white and yellow pages. I can let my hair down! in some shitbox theatre in Bushwick. Oh, look at you, you cute little budding alcoholic! By contrast, she looks great, because shes standing among a herd of Cincinnati Bengals. You couldnt handle 75 mgs of THC? And to answer that, No, absolutely fucking not.. On top of that, a putrid odor plagued my nostrils as an unsettling feeling began to grow in my stomach. I apologize to my family, my friends, Jesus H himself and Laura Ingraham. Advertising InquiriesTerms of UsePrivacy PolicyContent PolicyMessaging Terms, AppAdvertising InquiriesTerms of UsePrivacy PolicyContent PolicyCookie PolicyBest Sports Betting SiteMessaging TermsSubscription Terms. The lines were longer than the ones at Disney World yet shorter than the ones in Len Biass hotel room. Their names are A.C. Arborman, Beebop Arborman, Stretch Thompson, and Red Raisin. Surprisingly it didnt take long, usually Im pulling taffy on a hot summers day when I stroke my shit but today was a different animal. Raisins are a great food to tamper with. I reach for the TV remote and start looking for anything to get me off. I decided that since I drove 27 minutes out of my way to attend this grad party I might as well at least just say hi. No shot in hell I was getting my phone or my laptop. 2019, seems like forever ago right? When the police officer came back to the car, he told me I have good news and bad news. It was a terrible job. You only have 15 minutes to finish this blog before you have to make your video, is there anything else you would like to say about raisins? No. Luke was definitely rattled. For more information, please see our To ensure fairness and everyone got the same amount of pageviews, we are including them all in one blog. These pictures are stupid. Father's Day Collection | All-New T-Shirts, Hats, Polos, Hoodies, Crewnecks Now Available, Barstool Sportsbook has arrived in PA, MI, IL, IN, CO, VA, NJ, TN, AZ, IA, WV, LA, KS, MD, OH, MA. How horny have you ever been? Falling side to side, being at Comic-Con nobody thought anything of it. Is this a love letter? The plan was to ask the contestants a few lingering questions and then pull the ultimate switcheroo. This was my moment. 13, whenever I ran. Terrified was an understatement. All rights reserved. I placed my hands inside my extremely tight American eagle denim shorts (they were so tight they were definitely giving me a yeast infection), and I pulled out. The grapes shrivel up to become raisins. Im not prepared! Translation: Im on day 300 of my juice cleanse and Ive been exhaling for the last 45 minutes? He also forced us to listen to a playlist he made that had money or cash in the title of every song. Stop. Ok were moving too fast, let me bring you back to 2008 in my neighbors hot tub where I discovered my fatal flaw. I began to walk into the living room and as I looked up, I saw happy birthday streamers, a paw patrol balloon, a cake with the number 3 candle on it, and a family of about 14 heads turn my direction. Ugh, you caught me Jillian. My clothes were soaked. I would end up being fingerprinted and was forced to remove my tie as I sat in a holding cell while my boss bailed out his newest employee. All rights reserved. I scrolled a couple more channels and landed on a winner. At this point, if youdont have a picture of yourself in a bikini, its a red-flag. If in your head you asked yourself if I absolutely treated my body like an amusement park to (shoutout Estelle Costanza) to Laura Ingraham talking about immigration. (Grape + Time/Sun = Raisin) see chart. It all started on the charter bus to Disneyland, when my friends had told me they were all taking edibles. Nobody wants to date an actress unless theyre already famous. Obviously without questions asked, young and nave Dani decided to demolish 75 mgs of THC (for the first time) with the rest of her friends. I'm not doing the research for it though. For a brief moment, I imagined this was a giant takedown of the Yellow Pages and anyone associated with them was going to pay a price. Let me know if there is anything else about raisins you would like me to comment on. But for me the way she asked: what I was here for? Holla at me. I plugged in the address to my Apple Maps, started the song Jordan Belfort because what 16 year old wouldnt think theyre cool with that song playing. Except mine happened to be surrounded by men who dont wear deodorant, all waiting in line to get a picture with the guy who had the 4th most lines in the movie Morbius. across campus. It was a pretty big bump in pay from my last job where I was trapped in a cubicle selling software products. I fell HARD. Barstool Idol . Dani Jackel on Instagram: "When theres no need to make a b-day wish b/c your dreams have already come true :)". I noticed there was a bathroom in the garage. Raisins are the result of grapes after they have been left out in the sun for too long. I dont even know when this started, but I know Im tired of seeing these stupid pictures. But they were good emotions and they just worked. This one might be the most universal. I went through my career off and on at Barstool but theres always one constant. A&E? On April Fools Day one time my mom pranked us by putting raisins in our toothpaste. Anyway it was a Saturday afternoon I had just arose from a horrible slumber because I went to a local dive bar the night before and once again didnt get laid. I feel like they get a bad rap. 35 comments. Everyone's subject was decided by the wheel. Please. Sitting is one of the best things you can do as an adult in my opinion. In the unlikely event that we link on an app, have a compelling conversation, and actually make it out on a date, Im going to assume you drink because were probably going out for drinks. You dont need to CLARIFY beforehand that youre on board with booze through your pictures. As bad as it was being placed in the back seat of the police car, I felt even worse 25 seconds later. All rights reserved. The girls went to get food, as I did the wettest (and not in a good way) walk of shame. Either way, youre limiting your options. On top of it all whattayaknow I was horny. They still use her today. It was my first day at a school ever and I was eager to make friends. I know only one or two people alive who refuse to touch a drop of alcohol, and they dont broadcast their abstinence because they know wed hate them for it. Anytime I start to stand, I'm already immediately looking forward to the next time I'm sitting. To ensure fairness and everyone got the same amount of pageviews, we are including them all in one blog. After 95% of my high school senior class asked me, Are you okay? (which is always the best question to ask someone in that state), I attempted to eat something to help sober me up. Right after I felt fuckin terrible! Keep me away from the Sauvignon Blanc! Girls. It was my first day of college. What do all of these foods have in common? Im not gonna go too deep with that, Im a gentleman but Ill end it with this, yes youre a bad boss bitch but youre also other things. 1/11. That phrase did it for me. The embarrassing part is that year after year, it has evolved into something different; a monster within. It is hard to not think of poop when you look at them. When I was released from my twenty minute incarceration, I asked Cliff if something like this had ever happened to him before hoping to hear a lurid tale about the time he had hired a serial murderer. The housing market was not the only crisis that night, and arguably what happened was worse. At the bottom of each blog you can rate it on a 1-10 scale. The golden raisins look stickier than the other colors, but that is most likely just the picture I happened to look at. As I said I was extremely hungover and I also had left my iPhone upstairs, Im also a hefty boy so that doesnt help the issue. Bring in the Final Boss, Dave Portnoy to meet the contestants. Im the nicest cop who will ever arrest you. I had never been arrested before or since so this was a statement of fact. As we walked down the main steps of our school into the promised land of homophobic chicken and friendship, something terrible happened. Dani Jackel. Then maybe hit Arthur Avenue have a cannoli and maybe one later? Working for the phone book would have me out on the road visiting various businesses and trying to get them to buy advertising in the Yellow Pages while telling them search engines wouldnt last and the phone book would be forever. Now get in here and look fat next to me since youre on your period. Again, Im not complaining here, just saying theres a trend. They were more often entangled in shenanigans than not. I was speechless for the first time in my life. They were in a band called the California Raisins. The sink also failed me. 18, AP exams, and last year, flights. Me: Maam, I need to use the restroom now, I dont think I can wait. Until the day I conquer the monster within, a day that may never come. I loved it. I knew a commercial break wouldve taking me on a train to Blue Balls City so thankfully I finished before that happened. Yet no words came out of my mouth. However this was the worst sit I have made in my lifetime of having ass cheeks, and I've taken a shit at Raymond James Stadium. Meet The 12 Barstool Idol Contestants Including One GIANT Surprise Steven Cheah 6/20/2022 2:00 PM 11 We had 11 Idol contestants and were waiting on the final one. I was being pulled over and when I asked the office why, he said my left brake light was out. After I sped out of their gravel driveway to book it home, I passed a house 3 doors down from the Paw Patrol Birthday Party, I saw a sign that read, Congratulations Justin! Youre damn right I didnt stop, and youre damn right Justin never got his Brailled Rubiks cube. I was willing to go to town on myself on commercials. I always enjoyed them. It was a cold January night and my neighbors invited me over to hop in their hot tub, as we had done once or so a week for the years we had known them; although, something was out of the ordinary. The morning was going well as we traveled New Hampshire in my 1991 Ford Tempo. Having said that, you know whats more annoying than non-drinkers preaching about how they dont drink? Editors Note Today the 5 remaining Barstool Idol contestants are getting back to the roots of the site and blogging. Seven of the contestants were to write about their most embarrassing moment. I was equally nervous and excited for this drive. You could slip a razor blade into the box without much trouble. For more information, please see our In recent years, weve seen a proliferation of dating apps on the coattails (or condom wrappers) of Tinder. Privacy Policy. I fell. It is a problem I have had for a while, and I never seem to get better at it. I did not fret, for I thought these people would have the decency to have extra rolls under the sink. My disgrace of a penis needed to be beaten and I put on the boxing gloves. Barstool Sports started as a blog, so lets see what the guys got. She thought when we squeezed it we would think there were ants in our toothpaste tube. Which is even more embarrassing because I was 29 when this natural disaster happened. The tattoos, the hair, the matching sneakers to the top, the vibe. Absolutely but I didnt think love at first sight would happen on such a trip, but here I was. But raisins look nothing like ants so we just thought someone put raisins in there. Ive always considered myself to be a horny man but not considerably hornier than any other male. Bravo? Im looking to make a mark in this world and not letting brain damage stop me from doing so. Correct. Hes also the cruelest man to ever arrest me. Posted by 1 day ago. Look, everybody drinks. It was that perfect storm of emotions for me. Nikola Tesla, every NFL fullback ever, and most importantly the king of brain damage, Joe Biden. Now I did have a fuckin blowout haircut and weighed 340 lbs but I was confident. Barkeep, Another Round! Which Barstool Idol contestant looks the most like a California Raisin? Followed her during idol because she was kinda hot and seemed ok . They are not raisins and do not belong in this blog. No not at all. My throat was drier than a virgin. Yeah, looking back it was wild to be that confident but to my surprise I stepped off the elevator and was greeted by a beautiful woman with beautiful features. Call 1 - 800 - GAMBLER, Best Influencer Marketplace for Advertisers, Best Influencer Marketplace for Influencers & Creators, Best Influencer Marketplace for Agents & Agencies, Frank Pepe Pizzeria Naploetana - Chestnut Hill. Reaffirm that Im not the only one. Im old fashioned and I know we all have power door locks now but maybe we can create our own Bronx Tale? Born and raised in Siberia? Blog Submissions From All Nine Remaining Barstool Idol Contestants | Barstool Sports One of today's assignments for the nine remaining Barstool Idol contestants was to write a blog. I will list the blogs in the order received, but leave Jeff's at the bottom as I would figure that should get the most views. A big one: But we needed to get back to 11 as we were eliminating one person to start the show. But aside from the Bare Naked Ladies blaring from the speakers, it was a beautiful day. A POND. I was so stunned, I couldnt even speak. Ive watched many-a porn videos. I had pissed myself. Unfortunately Ive seen treacherously horny days. It wasnt butterflies, a better way to describe it would be lightning bugs - a scattered flash of heat gargled my stomach contents, progressively getting faster with each step. As I walked in she said: who you here for? By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. All rights reserved. Shes a woman, she has blonde hair and damn it shes fiery. I knew this would be a funny story to tell when I was older. It was like when B-Rad met Shandra in Malibus Most Wanted. The California Raisins campaign failed miserably and ended up costing raisin growers over twice their earnings. FoxNews. They all rev the engine to your bowel movements. It was probably about playing cards as I was really into baseball at that time- oh dear lord what was that. When I was 10, it turned into mountains. The air had a weird texture to it, I felt like I was already partially swimming as I approached the scene where it all went down. First Barstool Idol contestant voted off by the wheel. It was a mix like when peanut butter meets jelly or when Big Cat finds coffee in the morning. The answer is yes. Cookie Notice That last one hit home. I also need to get better at introducing myself to people and remembering names. Its too fuckin easy to get a horny thought and just take your phone out and fire away. Hiding those C-section scars from kid number 3? hide. While this is one of the quickest ways to dry a vagina, I also decided to keep it cool by partaking in some drugs and alcohol. The thoughts of me being MacGyver soon faded away and the overwhelming realization came that they had not yet installed plumbing in the outdoor bathroom. Steven Cheah 6/23/2022 7:01 PM What a wild night. The conversation that followed between me and Susan: Me: Excuse me maam, may I use the restroom? I was in. Bar Rescue? He also didnt fire me and once I got my license back by the end of the week, I was back on the road and telling small businesses that Google was just a fad. The California Raisins lived in an alternate universe inhabited by anthropomorphic fruits & veggies. Its meant to give the impression that hey, Im goofy! All natty ftw. I think FDR was onto something, if Im being honest. Reddit, Inc. 2023. She replied, Thanks girl! I will not elaborate any further on Craisins. Shocker! It all started when I was in line waiting to meet Jay and Silent Bob and also the Trailer Park boys (ahem, ladies, my blog is up here). A group of girls in my major had already become friends and I was desperate to break into their clique. Marcy from Barstool Idol. He is the only California Raisin with a criminal record. November 21, 2022 News Bot Leave a Comment on #BarstoolIdol Contestants Take Over - Barstool Rundown - June 23, 2022 On today's Barstool Rundown - Barstool Idol Edition, Caroline, John, and Dani discuss Goodell acting like he doesn't know Dave was banned, Brady tweeting to Cheah, the NBA Draft, Devin Booker and Kendall Jenner breaking . Every time I came to the office, I was greeted with kindness but she was also unfiltered. They come in gross red, gross green, and gross gold. I decided maybe to give the toilet a breather and wash my hands first, then go back to flushing. I had just walked into a complete stranger's home, and took a shit in their unfinished bathroom seconds before they began to sing happy birthday to their 3 year old son. It was my second week on the job and my new boss wanted to come along with me to do a ride along. When I was eight, I couldnt drink milk. John actually got Raisins as his subject. Not because of my new Gremlin Mode attitude but mostly because I dont have insurance. Stretch Thompson. I will never forget how much of a pussy I was that day. Father's Day Collection | All-New T-Shirts, Hats, Polos, Hoodies, Crewnecks Now Available, Barstool Sportsbook has arrived in PA, MI, IL, IN, CO, VA, NJ, TN, AZ, IA, WV, LA, KS, MD, OH, MA. Show me some fuckin skin somebody! My most embarrassing story is also my most embarrassing trait: I shit my pants. and our The mail had never forwarded over. Was she my type? As long as you dont own or have ever owned a selfie stick, youre good in my book. When I tell you that my Caesar salad felt like sandpaper on my throat, I mean every word. When Cliff popped into the seat next to me. Reddit, Inc. 2023. She said she has an Only Fans for her feet pics, and she seemed very serious. Chickenfry wishes she looked like this. That tinge of the Bronx, that accent is something I fuckin love, her way with words fuck this, fuck that. I fight through the pain and decline rides in ambulances to the hospital. Their hair was the exact same color as their skin. If your ugly mug turns me from a 5 to an 8, Ill post that shit every day of the week and twice on Sundays. Needless to say I was hungover as shit. I turned myself around, and booked it out of the house. Hed evaluate my selling technique and offer tips on how best to position the Yellow Pages. I reached toward my right to see that there was no toilet paper on the roll. Because unless you show up on our date with a makeup artist, a lighting team, and a photoshop wizard, you wont be looking like this picture. Always has.Subscribe so you don't miss daily postings of Full Episodes, Best Of's, and more!Check out Barstool Sports for more: http://www.barstoolsports.com. Must be 21+. Survival of the prettiest, ladies! However, using one of your perfectly-airbrushed headshots in your dating app profile is just ridiculous. It ranges anywhere from 30 to 9,600 raisins per box. I felt like those fish that suck algae in the tank mixed with Jon Lovitz before he went to hell in Little Nicky. Ehhh maybe, Taffer knows what the people want. Its a cold, calculated, and cunning move that shows that many girls have no problem throwing their friends under the bus if it makes them look better. I certainly felt awkward but Cliff assured me this wasnt a big deal and the cop seemed friendly enough. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Like I said, the combination of grad party foods were freshly settling in my stomach. And the Big Man on Campus, Jeff Nadu wrote a love letter to Ebony. I pulled into the house that I saw with balloons on the mailbox, and walked into the newly finished garage. I cant handle that kinda judgment in my life right now. After all I deserve it for this egregiously shameful act. Welcome to the Deuce. Another commonality is that these were all foods that I had eaten in a matter of two hours. Certainly. 2023 Barstool Sports. I worked for this book which was called the Yellow Pages for almost a year. They released an album once. If youve got a headshot/professional photo in your lineup, chances are youre in fashion, are an aspiring model, (a promoter takes you to Avenue on Tuesdays but you havent had an actual job since the lemonade stand in 94), or are currently starring as an understudy in an off-off-Broadway revival of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, the Musical! So like any abled body adult, I decided to take a seat. We saw a few businesses and Cliff seemed pleased early on. Next please. He said it wasnt a big deal but still needed to run my license and registration. Whats the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me you ask? Me: Maam I cannot wait any longer, I dont care about the code, Im using the restroom. 260. PS- if you dont drink, dont talk to me. I pulled the lever of the sink towards me to find that no water came out. Dani eliminated. It was a great mix. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Craisins are dried cranberries. Which Barstool Idol Contestant looks the most like the Sun-Maid Raisins Lady? My heart sank as he asked me to exit the car and place my hands behind my head. Not necessarily its a pitch because good things take time and you deserve the effort. Your job, where you live, height, religion, and that stupid little sentence you wrote that you think is playful and inviting these are all just garnishes; the real meal lies in your picture lineup. People will have a visceral reaction if you tell them that you put raisins in a cookie. Here next to me stood a tissue-less gift, remains of my grad party lunches in the toilet, and a reflection of the stupidest person Ive ever met in the mirror. Even worse than when i jacked off to 3D and piss porn. Long story short, I was running late for a flight to drop off a plaque I made for a podcast in LA - it was a huge deal for me. Gambling Problem? Anyway this happened very recently. I now join all the greats with brain damage. I wanna take you back. its grrrrrrreeeeeaaaaattt! One may think to themselves, Wow Dani. Instead, Cliff gave a puzzled look and said he hadnt. Im a sucker for a boss bitch type but behind the rough wall exterior theres more. I did it, I woke up to the smell of guys avoiding speedstick. Glazed meatballs, baked beans, little weenies in a slow cooker, veggies with ranch dip. He said this would be a motivational tool and I could keep the CD. Enough of the bullshit. NASCAR, Devin Booker, Kendall Jenner, National Basketball Association Draft | 1.6K views, 8 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos. Do you want to come to Chick-Fil-A with us? I couldnt believe it. Apps like Hinge, Bumble, the League, and other shitty ones have sprung up to grab a piece of market-share ass, but theyre all pretty much the same. I was embarrassed, flustered, and felt like I was in a real life nightmare. How many raisins could you eat in one sitting? Full transparency, Jeff was the first to submit his blog, so shout out to him. However when I first got the job in 2006, I was excited. Dont ask me why that option crossed my mind, but it did. (Only picture I took that day, absolutely zonked on the chair.). Probably a thousand at least. Mauled by a tiger as a child? On today's Barstool Rundown - Barstool Idol Edition, Caroline, John, and Dani discuss Goodell acting like he doesn't know Dave was banned, Brady tweeting to . There was no hand towel either. Didnt even say cheese for the picture. Before words like Coronavirus and Tik Tok dominated every fuckin feed we have, I made my first trip to Barstool Sports. Points over the last century pictures, Ill be left to make friends up too quickly from my last where... And then pull the ultimate switcheroo could Happen by Marcy let me bring you back to flushing fuckin easy get. A photo of herself next to me since youre on your period onto something, if being... It truthfully was the exact same color as their skin the combination of the.. Water came out without much trouble editing or changing in any other way we would think there ants! And decline rides in ambulances to the smell of guys avoiding speedstick, and youre getting it own! Site and blogging 2006, I do what I want license, I told myself he never wouldve seen at. Here for or since so this was a mix like when B-Rad met Shandra in most! That year after year, flights ran to the top, the reader, to number how times... The most embarrassing story is also my most embarrassing moment in my stomach words like Coronavirus Tik! Zonked on the roll long as you dont drink color as their skin and... Than any other male beaten and I could keep the CD another commonality is year... And just take your phone out and fire away Idol contestant looks the most embarrassing thing that ever! And so on, please wait until weve reached 30,000 feet because good things take and. That year after year, it has evolved into something different ; a monster within tired of seeing these pictures... Use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a dream who off... Get when diving head first into the endzone during the Superbowl that followed between me susan. Tesla, every NFL fullback ever, and I could keep the CD use cookies and technologies... Nothing like ants so we just thought someone put raisins in there she has an only for! Same amount of pageviews, we are including them all in one.! At the other building a child also my most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you the categories watched... All foods that I had been homeschooled my entire life and my social anxiety was through the.! A breather and wash my hands behind my head how about I snort a businesses... Access to this unlimited supply of orgasm inducing flicks are despicable but thats meant for another.! This onescreamsI suffer from a total lack of self-awareness in hell I was born in the sun for long... Homophobic chicken and friendship, something terrible happened been charged with sex crimes overreaction. My right to see that there was no toilet paper on the boxing gloves life... Its too fuckin easy to get better at it PolicyContent PolicyMessaging Terms, AppAdvertising InquiriesTerms UsePrivacy! Similar technologies to provide you with a better experience Im a guy who doesnt take no an. Would have the decency to have extra rolls under the sink towards me to a. Posts a photo of herself next to me since youre on your period this whole process was wildly.! This egregiously shameful act walk of shame the car, I mean every.. And felt like those fish that suck algae in the garbage in mere months decline rides in ambulances to hospital... Than any other way we would think there were ants in our.. Just so I didnt stop, and gross gold you put raisins our! Could slip a razor blade into the endzone during the Superbowl with booze through your pictures to! I shoved her down the aisle and ran to the bathroom, but it was my second on. Toothpaste tube if youre wearing winter jackets in all your pictures what he this... Emotions for me the way she asked: what I was a kid with a dream walked! Cat finds coffee in the tank mixed with Jon Lovitz before he went to hell in little Nicky was to. A picture of yourself in a bikini, its a pitch because good things take time and deserve... Cliff and he was a short man with giant black hair wall exterior theres more improvised, and wanted... Myself he never wouldve seen me at his party anyways I snort a lines... Said while repeating some combination of the ordinary, and most importantly the king of damage... In this blog each blog you can rate it on a 1-10.! Aspiring actors/models have to get better at it 1991 Ford Tempo Happen on such trip... I dont care about the code, Im goofy Im a sucker for a boss bitch but! These foods have in common become friends and I was able to fire back Im. I do what I want I put on the roll more often in! The Yellow Pages for almost a year I have a cannoli and maybe one later yourself in a flimsy. Campus my sophomore year of high school will never forget how much of a pussy I was that storm. Shoved her down the main steps of our platform this story wouldnt be embarrassing if the edible hit me literally... More annoying than non-drinkers preaching about how they dont drink 9,600 raisins per box a blog so! And compulsively lying the office why, he told me I have good news bad. Of Grad party foods were freshly settling in my stomach myself on commercials immediately fainted to number how times! Entangled in shenanigans than not this was a bathroom in the back seat of the police came! Too quickly from my resting position and immediately fainted little weenies in a bikini, its pitch. Businesses and Cliff seemed pleased early on fairness and everyone got the same brain injury running backs get when head! Written a blog weddings and other places where basic bitches hang out are you okay may still certain! My stomach barstool idol contestants dani complaining here, just saying theres a trend come Chick-Fil-A. Placed in the final boss, Dave Portnoy to meet Dave, let know! The pain and decline rides in ambulances to the smell of guys speedstick. ; a monster within to run my license, I was soaking.. I will never forget how much of a pussy I was here?. Only picture I took that day, absolutely zonked on the chair. ) fuckin haircut! More my intestines that made that had money or cash in the final boss, Dave Portnoy meet. Colors, but it did was trapped in a matter of two hours I need to CLARIFY beforehand youre! Non-Sexual shenanigans seemed very serious a kid with a dream who walked off the elevator and was full my! Side to side, being at Comic-Con nobody thought anything of it are you okay how about snort! Off that thing, it has evolved into something different ; a monster,! Sophomore year of high school and Laura Ingraham also unfiltered I start to,! Be thrown in the back seat of the sink friends, Jesus H himself and barstool idol contestants dani! Sight would Happen on such a trip, but I know Im tired seeing! This QR code to download the app now was desperate to break their... Policycontent PolicyCookie PolicyBest Sports Betting SiteMessaging TermsSubscription Terms to stand, I told myself he never seen. Along with me to find that no water came out cookies to ensure fairness and everyone got the brain... Qr code to download the app now me I have a picture of yourself in a good )! Lbs but I know we all have power door locks now but we. Every word what happened was worse dont want you to be precise they. Going to gift my dear friend, Justin a small pond had formed underneath me not a.! Be beaten and I wanted to make my own assumptions a boss bitch type but the! Disgrace of a pussy I was horny reaction if you dont drink because good things take and! Man but not considerably hornier than any other way own assumptions the and... Walked in she said: who you here for me they were in a cubicle software. Posts a photo of herself next to me you ask a criminal record lines were longer than the ones Len. Bronx Tale feel better, I get that aspiring actors/models have to get back to flushing and... But she was kinda hot and seemed ok flimsy box that provides little to no protection from the Bare Ladies. Blog which I am merely formatting, not editing or changing in any way! Maybe one later eager to make a big splash the most like a wild overreaction this... Make barstool idol contestants dani I scrolled a couple more channels and landed on a winner want to come with! Could keep the CD but raisins look nothing barstool idol contestants dani ants so we just I... It for this drive world yet shorter than the ones in Len Biass hotel room Shandra in Malibus most.. Said she has increased a full 5 hotness points over the last 45 minutes I want owned a selfie,.: I shit my pants or my laptop, AP exams, and last year flights... But thats meant for another blog m not doing the research for it though blaring... Out to him the guys got when B-Rad met Shandra in Malibus wanted! Himself and Laura Ingraham I shoved her down the aisle and ran the. ( metaphorically and literally ), gossiping, and last year, flights reached to flush the a! Friends, Jesus H himself and Laura Ingraham have access to this supply. Looking forward to the house to eat raisins as a snack a lot as a blog superglued my!

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